Jake

golgothasterror

He his himself Not roleplaying, not irl / kin


Hey guys welcome back to another video.

Jake 1727630778737
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🦢  Song suggestion . ☁️  Character info dump . 💭  Overall rant . 🦴  Judging ships . 🕊️  Hyperfixation dump . 🤍  Bullying .


1728168825931

Why is your handle misandristic?

Its really really funny.

Jake 1728170414886
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1728004994043

lowk your graphics masterlist is so sigma.. it literally saved puppies from a burning building,..

THANK YOU!! This actually reminded me i need to update it umm. Cough...

Jake 1728005780123
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this retheme is so nice!!! also zan0tix art is always appreciated hehe.

Thank you jane.... Giggles blushes kicks my feet...

Zan0tix is truly one of the best homestuck artists as of late. If you like long winded alpha kid rants i cant recommend their twitter alt percuxi0nz enough.

Jake 1727972349763
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If you had to choose one Pokémon to be your main partner Pokémon, which one would it be?

Personally, I feel like I'd choose Litwick and have them evolve/level as my journey continues.

Popplio for sure! Always has been my favourite starter and primarina has always ben my favourite final stage starter. Theyre so cute...... _

Jake 1727702369038
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1727035892725

🐊 ₊ june x davesprite ? they are very much so t4t and sapphic/silly

June and davesprite mean a LOT to me. I think theyre better than regular junedave if im being completely honest... I think the complexity of their relationship is what SELLS it to me. June doesnt exactly see davesprite as the "Real dave", to which davesprite is passively upset by. Davesprite truly is tragic, but thats for another time. Their little rivalry is one of the more neat things that this ship has going on, adding folds and creases in a VERY good way. When june is watching that god forbidden movie with jade, and realises that she actually hates the movie, davesprite being davesprite does a prank mocking her father, followed up by june getting up and yelling at davesprite watermarked in the sky. Pretty passionate if you ask me. Though, the thing that truly sold me on this ship was davesprites soliloquy to an asleep june, talking about why he had broken up jade, among other things. The whole thing is really depressing actually. Its just davesprites depression and impostor syndrome being evident as he talks to himself and vaguely june, even if shes asleep. I think its one of those heartfelt moments in homestuck, despite the patented dave trying-to-be-funny-and-nonchalant-about-his-troubles-bit. Of course, june has no idea about all this, but davesprite just doing all that within her presence is just. Wow.

Ok whew boy that was a yapfest.

Conclusion? 10.5/10 Yeah you broke the scoring little buddy! Congrats. I LOVE junedavesprite so so so dearly. What i wrote wasnt enough to even fathom how much i adore it. Also yes they ARE t4t sapphic and silly. I would know.

Jake 1727702177471
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1727414601551

spits.

🐊🐊🐊🐊 equius/eridan PLS!!!

Boy i sure wonder who this is...

Nonetheless, i had to sit down and actually think about equius and eridans dynamic and interactions for a bit. Considering they dont have very many -- if at all from what i can remember. Aside from that, i think theyre something fun that couldve been explored a little more in the original comic! I think its hilarious how even EQUIUS herself confesses being uncomfortable from eridans desperation for a flushed relationship.

I think some more interactions between the two couldve sold it better. Equius and eridan are both very forward and desperate for some kind of flushed relationship, acting in extreme ways when they either do or do not get such a thing (Equius making aradiabot & multiple clones for a giant aradiabot harem against aradias will, and eridan wanting a landdweller genocide, forcing feferi to feel a responsibility to take care of her and be her moirail.)... Theyre both interesting for sure, and even if they were or were not to be explored in any kind of quadrant i think theyd both get along in general if eridan had given up her streak of being way too desperate and forward.

Overall? 6.4/10. Its something fun that im sure a lot of fanworks have indulged in, but its next to nothing in canon unfortunately besides an uncomfortable comment. If someone were to write a really good fanfiction about them maybe i would bump it up to a seven. I dont hate it, but its not my favourite.

Jake 1727701100117
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john 1727633974224

awesome retheme... 🤍?

Thank you my favourite cis man!

Stay away from any and ALL soda cans you little slime sexing FREAK!!!!

Jake 1727637496072
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TT 1727631451203

Hi. 🦢

Hello!

Strawberryfire by the apples in stereo.

Jake 1727631864430
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1726967248894

How does one make their profile aesthetic and awesome like yours.

Moderate brain damage.

Jake 1727204851120
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Jake/Edd 1726952482063

Your profile is adorable! 🌱?

Thank you so very much!

Microphone by the millionaires.

Jake 1727204830422
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🐊 Vriska and June perhaps? (I love Vrisrezi too, trust- it's just I can't choose between ships like, ever.) -💫

Junevris. Mueheh. I for one LOVE them. I really liked them ever since the two started interacting. I think theyre both really interesting as their own characters, and as a dynamic i think it really flourishes a lot of their traits, as well as exploring a few. I would have more to write but i am a tad braindead. Vriska helped june find out she was a tgirl lesbian. Thats all i gotta say. 9/10

Jake 1726759895521
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1726685140272

would it be an insult to you if we insinuated you were somehow related to a majestic stallion

HORSIES!

Jake 1726743728315
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MUGSIE ☆ 1726287730069

I want you.

Licks.

Jake 1726743714197
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1725853535221

🌱 meow

Hi im late.

Girlfriend by hemlocke springs!

Jake 1726743702984
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f00f the f00fy 1725036935698

🌱 and I'll drop my own recommendation in your inbox afterwards

"I dont love you anymore (Sorry)" by lesley gore!

Jake 1725041589263
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1724882818970

when was the last time you ate at olive garden

A few nights ago actually! I had just made love to your brother and then decided to take him out to olive garden of all places after. #Gentleman #Imfuckingyourbro

Jake 1724952867085
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1724882792982

Should we crush his sweet hands?

WHO??

Jake 1724952758460
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1724882758223

Are you going to do anything about that velociraptor behind you?

AAAAHHH!!!!

Jake 1724952750358
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john 1724537548852

can i get a 🍵/🐊 wombo combo? my favorite ship is johndave of course.

(Although im a june truther... you asked for johndave so ill be refering to her as john.) Um. Johndave sucks. Trash. Terrible. My thoughts on johndave are probably just like everyone elses with an actual noggin in use. Its GOOD. Its simple and good and most of the fandom likes it for good reason. Its THE yuraoi of homestuck and i respect it as such. Both john and dave have amazing chemistry its sickening to read their back and forth banter because theyre just subtly humourous and entertaining and really play off eachother so so SO well. I wish i had more words for how much i do adore this ship but i think it can talk for itself. 10/10. Classic. Stellar. Simple.

Jake 1724952746033
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uhm. 🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊 can you judge dirkjohn? ;-;

Sigh. To me.. dirkjohn is a rarepair turned to popular Shove Up Everyones Ass ship (Said politely..) I believe it started to gain popularity via epilogues with ultdirk interacting with john more often than seen in the actual comic (Like.. 5 pages?) and being... Himself. I understand where it comes from and i DO get the appeal, johns "No nonsense talk straightforward" & dirks "Metaphor irony irony metaphor avoidance of being able to admit he needs help" is certainly an interesting romantic dynamic that i KNOW people love. I am not one of those people. Sorry. I AM however a fan of that dynamic in an ENEMIES sense. John would not deal with any of dirks weird npd bpd shit and immediately shut him down id think. I seriously do wish to see this sort of interaction play out in beyond canon because itd be BEYOND humourous. I think the ships a 4/10 in a romantic sense. I get the appeal i SWEAR... But it is just not my personal cup of tea. In my mind theyre awkward besties who are stupid.

Jake 1724434686786
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𝒞 𓈒 amory 1724371686087

I need to apologize I am so sorry for pee pee pee pee I have been giggling for over a hour I cannot think straight I will answer your ask game later. Thank you. Takes out ukelele

Sos.

Jake 1724371900249
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𝒞 𓈒 amory 1724370270817

I love your layout ! We should moots :3

I love your layout DEARLY. I dont play call of duty but ive seen that character and your layout does justice to his whole aesthetic if that makes sense! Also yes mutuals yes... _

Jake 1724370815078
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tg 1724368291128

thought your bio said horse dildo for a minute and i got scared

No.

Jake 1724369883573
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Jake 1724337437203

Probably going to redo my asking thing because cough. New hyperfixation.

👅

Jake 1724337444399
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1724245027597

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১  QOTD #10 ! ꒰ა   favorite non canon ship ?   ໒꒱

EQUITAV!!!!!! Or mirrorbox (Glisten x boxten)... Dandys world brainrot taking over my life.

Jake 1724337301858
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1724166703779

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১  QOTD #9 ! ꒰ა   favorite canon ship ?   ໒꒱

Rosemary... or arasol? Maaaybe roxygen my t4t lesbians.

Jake 1724202620357
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1724199951141

mortis is also on ed twt (eating disorder twt) image links: https://files.catbox.moe/lbl3xn.webp https://files.catbox.moe/0xl3c5.webp

I talked with mortis myself aaaand... these are old. Screenshots from may? And apparently last year? Do you think im slow genuine question. I dont get why youre trying to make me and many others hate an innocent person. Its unbecoming and honestly pathetic. Please consider spending your time off the internet?

Jake 1724202301666
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Jake 1724197924786

Ok so um. Cant exactly send them this but @/Tavros and or stazzes what the fuck dont lie and frame people with that kind of shit? What HAS to be going through your mind to pick on a 13 year old and say theyre a racist pro/com/darkshipper?

I dont mean to start drama with this but genuinely this is disgusting to see. Get a life?

Lol?

Jake 1724197935143
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are you proud youre besties with this thing https://files.catbox.moe/vzr31l.jpg im sure u are since ultjakes a comshipper https://files.catbox.moe/tzjp6l.png how does one fall off so utterly hard!!!?!?

Hi! I didnt know this. Also me and ultdirk/shakedown(Blahblah) arent even friends anymore. Thank you very much for the info though. I will be acting appropriately with this info! _

Jake 1724195176258
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laika 𓂃 1724088772992

૮꒰ྀི ᴗ͈ ˕ ᴗ͈ ꒱ྀིა QOTD #5  ✦ today is qotd 5! thats my favourite number. whats yours ?

333 is the best number ever in my opinion! _

Jake 1724100294375
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1724082661595

pls block @homelander , they are a proshipper

I see. Thank you for letting me know! <3

Jake 1724091237565
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tg 1724046806596

come outside

Die

Jake 1724047000828
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Tom 1724046668980

Check your mail

GULPS.

Jake 1724046707681
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Tom 1724018016869

Yo

Gulp.

Jake 1724023914518
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Jerry 1724018015510

do NOT go outside. that fucking cat just hung I an anvil above your door so he can drop it on your head and squish you to be really short. be careful.

Oh ok thank you jerry from tom and jerry. Wipes sweat from forehead.

Jake 1724023911268
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1724003477558

ermmm. lizard emoji

Ok so. Claps my hands together. Equius zahhak am i right fellas? I think equius is one of if not the most overhated/underrated/misunderstood characters in the history of homestuck. Most people tend to read her as "Ew sweaty pervert guy who fucks horses" And that is SO far from the truth. First of all; majour offender "Horse sexualisation" is literally just not based in anything at all? If you read homestuck andrew hussie makes a BIT out of equius flat out NOT UNDERSTANDING the sexual meaning of the posters thus continuing her "Ew weirdo" schtick hussie decided to write. Along with this equius is told to be one of the strongest trolls and thats due to her hormones as both an indigo blood and somewhat-mutant. She is so obnoxiously strong she cant reciprocate touches to her moirail. Shes literally incapable of showing physical affection without hurting someone she loves. Her whole aradiabot bit was not a good thing but it definitely shows how she deals with her insecurity. Ok im done.

Jake 1724004445474
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1724000605542

Your profile is so bright it is giving me the craziest headache i swear. Use a dark theme like a real man you worthless swine.

Im sorry youre having this problem! But i like my theme the way it is so you can go bug off.

Jake 1724002657904
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why, would you look at that? if it isn't Jake "Toe Tickler" English.

Heh. I see youve found yourself in my asks... Billie "Billie" billie. My mortal enemy. Id recommend you get off my turf or... heh. Lets just say... There will be consequences. 😈

Jake 1723931644329
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1723922111408

im so sneaky

Look, ok? I'm not some gooner freak with a foot fetish. While I do have a foot fetish, I'm still a dignified man with standards. I've got class, you see. Getting tickled is a fast pass to losing your carefully maintained composure. If that's not boner-inducing then I don't know what is. But, you know. I wouldn't expect peasants like you to understand the sensual loss of dignity that is a Tickle Fetish. I hope you pee yourselves. Nevermind, I like that.

Jake 1723923231890
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1723921729373

👅

You are NOT sneaky.

Jake 1723921828642
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You people give me fandoms to make stamps of

Portal perchance? o

Jake 1723855848847
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⨁⠀ SNIPER 1723846719804

tickles you

I hate you

Jake 1723848701021
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Jake 1723837506209

Dear sparkler, Please let me edit my banner and profile picture.

Sincerely, Jake.

Please.

Jake 1723837511759
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🐊 for davenep? -maw

I think davenep is a good ship for a lot of reasons that the fandom tends to just look over... I think the way davepetasprite simply IS definitely supports the the reasoning as to why i think dave and nepeta would be a GREAT pair either pale or flushed. Whilst davesprite is not DAVE dave hes still a dave whether he likes it or not. Davepetasprite is a sprite fusion that is able to be stable and mix both components of the personalities of dave and nepeta into one concise new being. (Although they do take away some of davesprites traits of being depressed but thats for another time.) Kind of went on a davepetasprite rant but um. Cough. Not to mention that in pesterquest dave and nepeta get along with roleplaying... Even if its partially ironic for dave. Overall i think theyre nice despite it kind of being a ship seen as "Lets pair two popular characters together!" Because they are MUCH more than that. Final score? 7/10. Some more interactions of just dave + nepeta would be fun to see.

Jake 1723830807333
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I literally cannot swim. In freshmen pe class i had to have a board with me at all times when doing swim laps it was so embarrassing.

Jake 1723830253957
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Jake 1723824602384

Guess whos back.

Back again.

Jake 1723824606706
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Romeo 1723739804216

Snarls 🍵

Hey thats not nice. :(

Jake 1723748931399
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anonymous 1723699856329

the coloring of your layout is so pretty, I really like it >_<

Thank you so much!! Im flattered. _ <3

Jake 1723700204300
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Pierro 1723683058282

millipede or centipede

Millipede because my friend jake likes them! :)

Jake 1723690587686
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