Jesus christ, life really has been tough for you lately huh? Honestly, you're not the first person to tell me about such problem. And I believe it's ok, even if you do need to move on over it. You're very strong for being persevere in my opinion, congrats on that! I would recomend to start interacting more with people that are close to your friends or that you know that will be chill. And then along time you will overall be better at that and will be able to make your friends by yourself. Baby steps ofc baby steps