while i don't usually reference anything while i write i do feel more inspired when i read a book i enjoy. one of my favourites has always been the mysterious benedict society for the way it exposits in these rambles it does in the middle of other things happening. some people dislike this but i feel it perfectly captures the way i think about things and it's awesome. i should reread it again a problem i have is that i really hate most books i read, i think they suck ass. so for a very long time i gave up on books completely. this isn't a good idea, you flourish so much more from reading even a couple of books. and there's every kind of book out there, you won't hate every single one even if you're a master league hater like i am. you don't have to read a lot, you don't have to be a bookworm. after all then you wouldn't be spending that time writing. but pick up Some books. if you hate a lot of them that's ok. because not only are there good ones but also sometimes there are things that suck so bad that they inspire you to do Better for example: ready player one is a pretty good book but the romance sucks ass because it doesn't challenge wade watts' misogyny at all nor does it make meaningful commentary on falling in love with internet people. it would've been good if art3mis was transgender and wade had to make a decision if he really DOES love her personality enough to stop being a piece of shit. it started having the right idea but it was with a different character so it's like well why didn't you go all the way coward (probably because it was written by a gamer in the 2010s that's my theory) think like this. be a critic. it will make you a better writer even if you hate everyone's favourite things because now you can do that to your own work isn't that awesome

tangent: i recently realized that not everyone has this inherent Ability To Write. apparently i've had it as a hobby for my entire life and not everyone does this? like, we all type words on the internet to talk to each other, we even tell each other stories over the internet, but not everyone thinks to translate this into writing something. for anyone out there that doesn't know where to start i recommend writing on a document like you're telling a story to a friend. like you are a character, like it really happened.. something like that, just put yourself in that mindset

i have little formal education. they took me out of all english classes to do whatever i want. i do not know why they did this. i don't know in what ways my vision of the world differs from others. so maybe none of this will work for anyone except for me. maybe you just think i'm autistic now idk