in my mind, one of the major perks is being able to experience love for your peers without it being tainted by adult constructs. i’m a hopeless romantic in the most childish ways. of course, i will never pursue my feelings, i’ve never felt like an “older admiring younger,” i’ve felt like “younger admiring her peers” my whole life. outside of these feelings, i haven’t matured to the point where i can handle adult responsibilities. it doesn’t feel right to me that i’m pushed into adulthood before i’m ready. it has never felt fair. from a young age, i’ve felt like being forced to grow up was one of the biggest injustices of my lifetime. i still sort of feel that way. it’s less that i intend to live like one, because i’ve been living like one my entire life. you see, i’m underweight with quite the youthful face, and i’ve always had childish interests. most older people mistake me for the ages i prefer to be perceived as whether i’m trying to come off that way or not.

yeah, i understand that much. “adult constructs” such as feelings one would imagine only arise after someone has gone through puberty. i’ll keep that ambiguous. ideal romance, for me, looks like adventuring together. experiencing joy together. holding hands, playing games we enjoy, being close, being vulnerable around eachother, being understanding, overcoming hardship together, loving eachother, things of that nature. i’m cheesy if you couldn’t already tell.