the nature of my attractions is less “there is no sexual pull attracting me to this thing” and more “i shan’t concern myself with sexual matters, i am not old enough to view love through an explicit lens.”

sexual attraction is never necessary. if a girl likes another girl, you’ll call her a lesbian regardless of if she wants to engage sexually with the girl or simply get married.

i would likely set clear boundaries if/when necessary and initiate a friendship. it’s easy to look past such attractions as long as it isn’t the constant subject of conversation.

i knew him for two years. unfortunately, he was in a bad home and had to move away. an adult could have potential to be my muse if they had a boyish charm to them.

i’m exclusively youth-oriented, so anyone sexually attracted to me would see no reciprocation.

i believe there can only be one. there was a boy a long while ago, but i wasn’t able to capture his likeness before we went our separate ways.

i have not met him yet.

i do not have sexual fantasies and i have no interest in sexual activities, but sexual attraction is not foreign to me. i view it as something trivial and insignificant and thus i disregard it when speaking of my love and attractions.

drawing/painting them, photographing them, writing about them, things of that nature. there haven’t been any objections as of yet.

(this is if he were mutually willing to meet me.) i would introduce myself, get to know him, gain an understanding of his life, and try to become friends with him. i naturally make a muse of all of my closest friends.

yeah, i understand that much. “adult constructs” such as feelings one would imagine only arise after someone has gone through puberty. i’ll keep that ambiguous. ideal romance, for me, looks like adventuring together. experiencing joy together. holding hands, playing games we enjoy, being close, being vulnerable around eachother, being understanding, overcoming hardship together, loving eachother, things of that nature. i’m cheesy if you couldn’t already tell.

in my mind, one of the major perks is being able to experience love for your peers without it being tainted by adult constructs. i’m a hopeless romantic in the most childish ways. of course, i will never pursue my feelings, i’ve never felt like an “older admiring younger,” i’ve felt like “younger admiring her peers” my whole life. outside of these feelings, i haven’t matured to the point where i can handle adult responsibilities. it doesn’t feel right to me that i’m pushed into adulthood before i’m ready. it has never felt fair. from a young age, i’ve felt like being forced to grow up was one of the biggest injustices of my lifetime. i still sort of feel that way. it’s less that i intend to live like one, because i’ve been living like one my entire life. you see, i’m underweight with quite the youthful face, and i’ve always had childish interests. most older people mistake me for the ages i prefer to be perceived as whether i’m trying to come off that way or not.

no. adulthood is lame, there are no perks. when i get to an age where i can no longer run from my years, i’ll likely have already “accepted” adulthood, so to speak.

i see… i can only hope they don’t get to me any time soon, i suppose.

ah, i see! (yes, i go by Outré, thank you for asking.)

i bite my tongue and swallow the tears. i can’t expect everyone to understand me, and it is best i not expect anyone to understand me.

i do not know what causes my age incongruence. i feel dissatisfied and upset with the age i’ve grown into. maybe i am afraid of change, maybe my development was stunted somehow. a personal theory of mine is that my brain is somehow not aware of my aging. i’ve never perceived myself as the age others have assigned to me. not in the sense that i occasionally regress ages, but in the sense that i’ve been stuck at the same one for years. nothing has shifted in my mind to tell me “you’ve grown up, you’re mature now.”