Yeah, I've had a similar thing with TF-happy people. I appreciate their kink, but at the same time, I always have this sense of "If I have to change you to like you, then that's kinda fucked up." If someone tells me what they would like to be, I'm happy to play it out as something more 'dub-con' in a way, but for me, it's very much a sense of "I'm not going to change you to fit my ideals, because then you're not you."