i'm probably not the right person to answer, but i bet it's a little of both! i do think things shifted in the solo era - a lot of people moved on, and new armys who joined during that time probably had a very different on-boarding experience. i also have several friends who were out of the fandom for like 6 months up to a few years who've recently returned! so you're not alone in coming back.

i think it's always weird to re-enter fandom! things change fast and people have accumulated new references that you might not get, and a lot of the people you once relied on might have moved on. but even if it feels weird, that's SO normal! like, from being in fandom for decades myself, and knowing lots of others who are the same, i can tell you i think it's actually the more common fan experience for your involvement to fluctuate. i've been in fandom sporadically since i was about 13, and in that time there have been periods of multiple years where i just wasn't involved in fandom at all! and every time i come back it feels like an entirely new landscape. there's gonna be an adjustment period!

i also wanna say that like, i think in kpop fandom especially, there are so many different niches that, depending on which niche you're in/have been in, if you encounter another one it's gonna be like a TOTALLY different culture. fandom is super fragmented now, and there are different in-jokes and references between like stan accounts, fanfic people, tinhats, y/n people, ship wars people, fanwars people, etc etc, even if there's overlap there. and a lot of those people think every other kind of person is weird as hell and doing fandom wrong 😂 also 4th gen fans have a lot of different norms and rules around shipping and fic, which i can't really speak to since i'm not deeply involved. just take your time, find your niche, and participate in a way that feels good to you! and welcome back!! i'm thrilled to have you here again 🤗

one of my friends was saying this same thing, too! about interacting being easier irl. and there are a lot of real-time social cues we get irl that are just missing online. online you can't read someone's facial expression or interest level as they're speaking to you, and often you're not having an instantaneous back and forth, so the rhythm of the conversation can be strange and it's hard to tell if they took an hour to reply to you bc they got busy with something or if it's because they secretly hate you lol!! people are more confrontational and hyperbolic online too, so i think interactions can go sour faster. it's hard!

i also wanna say that like, even if i AM going around talking about community through comments or whatever, it's because that's the interaction mode i'm attached to in fandom, so ofc i specifically want to nurture it. but no one is doing anything wrong or being a bad person by not interacting with fandom like that. it's fine to lurk, and i'm not judging anyone who does it! i spent like my first decade in fandom just lurking off and on lol! for some people, fic is a smaller and more casual part of their fan experience, or they're not In The Fandom in an intense way, or whatever. like, everyone should participate as they are willing and able, and sometimes that means not at all! but i do also think it's valuable to give people some encouragement or a nudge to try it out.