(Originally posted by uwna32 on IRC)

programming languages:

• c is latin, the root of all modern languages, the whole universe used to speak it.
• c++ is french, its latin with fancy rules, used by the elite around the world & in specific circles.
• javascript is english, everybody speaks it, most speakers speak it poorly and others dont bother learning another language.
• java is german, its verbose and js derived from it.
• python is esperanto, it was created to be so easy everyone could speak it. its speakers could benefit from a shower once in a while.
• basic is toki pona, it was created to be even easier to learn.
• assembly is the ipa, its the basis of every language, the smallest block of the whole thing.
• machine code is sumerian, it was the language used by programmers in the early times of computing.
• rust is russian, most speakers have an authoritarian left background and want to spread it worldwide.
• scratch is baby speak. it isnt even a proper language.
• visual basic is barbaric grunting, it makes no sense and is an uncivilized mess.
• malbolge is demonic screeching, you might try to write a hello world in it and instead get a chant to summon satan himself.