To me, it’s about degrees and volumes. And chill. “I adore you but you don’t know me” is not frightening after a while because it’s just a part of being a public figure. “I adore you, you don’t know me, and I want you to marry me / move in with me / be around me all the time / have a lock of your hair taken without permission / do a Misery to you” is when things start getting scary, because lines are being crossed and you don’t know how far the other person will go. The thing people don’t understand is that the true scary factor of parasociality isn’t the oddity of your public persona being known in a one-way direction, it’s the people who respond to that knowledge / dynamic by ultimately wanting to kidnap you and visit violence on you (be it emotional or physical). That’s when shit starts getting scary as fuck, and my solution is to kick out people who can’t handle themselves and ban them from my community ahead of time before “I want to know where you live” becomes “I want to visit you when I’m in town next”