[[continuing]] His struggles weigh him down, he has no other means to let go other than football and smoking, and football itself came with the stress of his teammates and the presence of taehyung so he couldn’t really truly unwind with it before. Plus raven and her games, him chasing after something that made him weary but provided a false sense of comfort that he felt like he must chase, that if he felt like he could live without it and find something better, he was wrong and it would come crashing down.

But then sex with taehyung frees him in multiple ways, proves to him that it could feel good, that he its not a given to be put down for the things he indulges himself in, no matter what it is. He experiences a new kind of pleasure, something that truly aligns with his own methods of unwinding, using his body to make himself feel better. only he’s not the only one pushing it to the brink. He can trust his body in taehyung’s hands because he’s shown he could take good care of him. Makes sure he feels good, makes sure he knows he’s feeling good, makes sure he knows exactly how and by whom. Sex with taehyung is a new awakening into his own body and its pleasures, playing it like an instrument and actually enjoying it for himself instead of being limited to catering to someone else. It keeps jungkook in the moment, connected to not only his own body, but also his partners’. Sex with taehyung is not selfish for him, it’s what sex is supposed to be, a mutual connection, a dance of bodies, a friendly game that has no losers and only winners.

Taehyung makes him feel like he can indulge in the things he likes and not be battered for them, unlike how i assume it was with raven, who would probably use things he liked against him when shit got ugly. Of course the way taehyung treats jungkook stems from his own experiences, but initially, taehyung doesn’t really expect much of him. [[contd. again maybe i need to chill]]