im crying. mover, lawnmower, and pool boy gw all occupy the same niche. he’s nice and tall so he can reach everything and he can hold things with his giant puppy paws so easily. and of course he has to take care of his back it’s one of his best assets. he’s part of like college hunks moving junk or whatever that company is called and he loves when embarrassing moms are like oh myyy they certainly delivered the hunks and their kids are like MOM don’t be WEIRD they’re MY AGE but he loooves it.

anyway i hire him to help me move and he insists on doing as much as he can himself because sir that’s why im here and who am i to deny the opportunity to just sit back and watch him move things around and get all sweaty while he assembles my furniture and puts my dishes in cabinets im too short to reach without a stepstool and i offer him water and buy him pizza and he’s so excited for the pizza and offhand mentions he’s on a diet and then i fuss over him and insists he brings the entire box of garlic knots home and i give him an exorbitant cash tip and tell him i’ll pay him cash to come back and help me take things to the dump in a week or so because i don’t have a car and he shouldn’t but i touch his arm inappropriately and entice him into committing tax fraud