anonymous
1727292007275
Hi oomfie, making this anonymous bc iām embarrassedā¦
Today i found out my mums pregnant with my half sibling and even tho im happy i canāt help but feel resentful towards the baby, and itās not the babies fault. My stepdad is a really great father figure and my mum and dad broke up before i was even born, my dad has been absent or abusive my entire childhood (and still is), i used to lash out to everyone most of my life because of these things so i never had the best relationship with anyone, so the thought of the baby having a good relationship with their dad or family in general makes me extremely jealous and sick to my stomach. Itās kinda like a āwhy them and not meā situation. Iām super stressed because my dad only focuses on my stepsiblings and my mum will be focusing on the baby so iāll be totally alone, not to mention me and my brother are almost 2 decades older than this baby. Iām in my last year of high school and the baby + them getting married, and me having to help with the baby is insanely stressful for me and i donāt really know how to handle it. I know i will probably love my sibling but i canāt help but just feel angry at this innocent baby for no reason.
Am i a bad person?
You're not a bad person, if you were a bad person you wouldn't realize over why you're mad and that it's not the baby's fault. A bad person would see the baby as a parasite, and over the fact it was born lucky was a bad sign. You don't see them as a parasite, you're just jealous they will have a normal childhood. It's ok for you to feel like that, you've been through a lot of stuff in your childhood and now. Its totally normal for you to be angry, even if they didn't do anything. You're being stressed out over school, an upcoming baby and the fact you know it will have a better life will make you more stressed. It's not your fault for you to feel this way, you're just comparing diferent situations. It's not mature I will admit, but it's not a horrible and bad thing as well. I don't think is mature because you didn't stop to think on the other side of the situation, and that is something I can't do for you. It will take time, you will keep thinking over and over again on why you didn't have the same as this baby. But you need to realize one small thing, that child will not change who you are. What you've been through, who you turned out to be won't change that's a fact. But it can turn you into someone better, I'm not saying he will be some salvation, but you can end up learning from the child. To be honest I understand really deeply how you feel, and it's really ok to feel jealous and angry over it. Hell, I myself would probably be having a anger crisis just by the though. But maybe start thinking on other possibilities, over how that child's life can be better because you will be in it. It doesn't matter if they end up having healthy or not parents, what matters is what you are going to be. I believe that you will become an amazing sibling, and be better then whatever your father was. Show the world how you can be better then your parents. I actually did it myself and I can confirm it works. So dont overwork yourself ok hun? Everything is going to turn out amazing because you will be in there for whatever comes in your life ^^