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I think you're taking this personally when it has nothing to do with you. They purposely have DEADNAMED me. How's that for transphobic? They REFUSE to use my preferred name.
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Because misgendering someone on purpose is transphobic? What they did to you is not ok either but 2 wrongs don't make a right.
Misgendering someone just because they mistreated you is not ok. Using the correct pronouns for someone should not be a "reward", it says a lot about your character. Stalking is horrible but there are other ways to express your anger rather than being transphobic.