I kept mine home yesterday. Unfortunately I live in Florida, so a lot of her classmates are in families that voted for him. I was worried there would be gloating and more pain for her.

I have told her she’s safe, that we’ll be ok, but in all honestly I’m so scared for her and her future. I’m so scared for everyone. I’m glad I have this community, and the solidarity that comes with it though, and I appreciate every time someone extends a hand to remind me I’m not alone. Thank you, truly.

This is a question I’ve gotten several times now and have sort of avoided as I have tried to mull over the answer. Unfortunately, the only conclusion I have come to is that I do not know. So let’s go ahead and get into it I suppose 🙈

Initially, Kerosene was a writing exercise for me when I was new to kpop and had not settled on a Chan pairing that I liked. I have always exclusively read/written M/M fic within anime/book settings, and I thought, you know what—what if I tried my hand at reader insert?

Though it isn't what I usually read, I do not think it deserves the stigma it has. There always seems to be this odd war in every fandom, a sort of line drawn in the sand between reader insert enjoyers and everyone else. And well, I guess I just sort of reject that at its face. Truly, everyone should just read and write what they like, and maybe not worry so much (or make sweeping judgements) about the things that aren’t really for them anyway.

So yeah, stepping back off my soapbox—I liked the idea of getting out of my comfort zone, of creating something just to create—even if it wasn’t quite for me—to get myself back at the keyboard, and thus Kerosene was born. But because Kerosene wasn’t really FOR me, when I finally did fall in love with MinChan (and later ChanLix as well), I lost a lot of the motivation for writing it.

I really have enjoyed writing Kerosene, it pulled me out of quite a long writer's block. I also truly do know exactly how it ends, how every chapter from here will go, but I just can't force myself to write something that I do not have the desire to. Mainly because I think it deserves better.

Right now my mind is very wrapped up in the pairings I’ve grown to love, and that is why I did separate the ao3 accounts. It kind of seemed a little cruel to keep notifying people of new oneshots while Kerosene sits neglected. All I can say for now is that I do intend to finish it “someday”, which I’m sure is of very little comfort. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read it thus far, and I really am so sorry to be the cliche ao3 author falling off mid fic.

That’s also why I did want to take the time to give a real answer, I guess. While I respect when writers decide they can’t finish a piece, I do so hate the wondering that comes with them disappearing. The “Will they, won’t they?” of it. So I can say, yes, one day I will. I just can’t say when that day will be.