Heyy, when is the next chapter of kerosene its going to come out? đđ
This is a question Iâve gotten several times now and have sort of avoided as I have tried to mull over the answer. Unfortunately, the only conclusion I have come to is that I do not know. So letâs go ahead and get into it I suppose đ
Initially, Kerosene was a writing exercise for me when I was new to kpop and had not settled on a Chan pairing that I liked. I have always exclusively read/written M/M fic within anime/book settings, and I thought, you know whatâwhat if I tried my hand at reader insert?
Though it isn't what I usually read, I do not think it deserves the stigma it has. There always seems to be this odd war in every fandom, a sort of line drawn in the sand between reader insert enjoyers and everyone else. And well, I guess I just sort of reject that at its face. Truly, everyone should just read and write what they like, and maybe not worry so much (or make sweeping judgements) about the things that arenât really for them anyway.
So yeah, stepping back off my soapboxâI liked the idea of getting out of my comfort zone, of creating something just to createâeven if it wasnât quite for meâto get myself back at the keyboard, and thus Kerosene was born. But because Kerosene wasnât really FOR me, when I finally did fall in love with MinChan (and later ChanLix as well), I lost a lot of the motivation for writing it.
I really have enjoyed writing Kerosene, it pulled me out of quite a long writer's block. I also truly do know exactly how it ends, how every chapter from here will go, but I just can't force myself to write something that I do not have the desire to. Mainly because I think it deserves better.
Right now my mind is very wrapped up in the pairings Iâve grown to love, and that is why I did separate the ao3 accounts. It kind of seemed a little cruel to keep notifying people of new oneshots while Kerosene sits neglected. All I can say for now is that I do intend to finish it âsomedayâ, which Iâm sure is of very little comfort. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read it thus far, and I really am so sorry to be the cliche ao3 author falling off mid fic.
Thatâs also why I did want to take the time to give a real answer, I guess. While I respect when writers decide they canât finish a piece, I do so hate the wondering that comes with them disappearing. The âWill they, wonât they?â of it. So I can say, yes, one day I will. I just canât say when that day will be.