⠀࿙࿚⠀yeah. ♡︎ can’t say it’s solely due to my disorder because you can’t simply use a card to justify all your morality flaws and deny responsibility, now can you~⑅? .ᐣ⠀ིྀ I do experience being characterized as two-⑅-faced and manipulative, sometimes even to a funny degree as if everything I did had some evil scheming behind and the intention to affect others… I will not deny I haven’t done such things before, I’m petty when I feel crossed and impulsively feel the need to “drag the bitch down” once the berserk button is unlocked. but honestly i’m not some mastermind in the slightest… 😭 if I want to hurt someone;; I don’t construct a plan, I just act based on my anger at the moment.

I do lack empathy, deal with chronic boredom which makes me do some crazy shit！！！ sometimes, and struggle with basing my actions solely on how I feel without further thought on how they’ll affect others… so it’s not as if everything was ill-⑅-intended. I’m alienated enough to believe what I’m doing is normal or has a decent purpose, until I’m called out on my bs or realize it affected those around me.

no hard feelings to who sees me as a cunt because I’ve been one many times. someone once said getting too close to me inevitably leads you into being hurt or dragged into trouble, and I do agree… it’s in my nature to bite the hand which feeds me for no reason at all. i have the urge to lash at people, i unconsciously behave in a patronizing and unpredictable way.

anywaaays, it is just annoying as hell when people dwell on the assumption I am after them or trying to get under their skin！i may be egotistical, attention-⑅-seeking, imprudent, whatever blah blah, but i assure you i take enough medication and do enough therapy not to terrorize someone’s life. I don’t engage with drama after like. 3 days. because it’s just momentary adrenaline + not worth sustaining beef. i focus my energy on other endeavors, although slip-⑅-ups of rage or paranoia may occur. 𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟 cute how people can antagonize others at the expense of ignoring their own sins.